I'm Not A Negotiator

Posted on Wednesday June 5th, 2019 @ 6:30pm by Captain Cayne Morrigan & Lieutenant Carmina Barbossa & Lieutenant Mavet & Civilian . & Ensign Murray Campbell-Mckay

Mission: Welcome to Union Mining Station Number 42
Location: Meeting Room A
Timeline: September 20th, 2421

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Cayne hated meeting rooms. It took all his willpower to lead the Negotiation team, as he was now referring to them, away from the comforts of the bar and toward the meeting rooms. He dipped in to the first one, apparently it was Conference Room A, as it explained over the door. The room beyond was exactly everything he hated. Sterile, impersonal with a large table that took up most of the room, making it also feel crowded to Cayne, even though there were only five people.

Despite his distaste, he went to the head of the table and took a seat and gestured for the crewmembers that followed him to have a seat as well. He lifted his tablet and worked to share the negotiation demands with the others. "So I'm sending these documents to your tablets. There are two documents... one is the demands of the miners and the other is what the Union is willing to do about those demands." He looked up from his tablet at the team.

"That's well and good," Mavet said, "but I'm not going to lie to you, Captain: I'm slightly shit-faced after our little extracurricular party time."

"That's good, you should be," Namira said. "If what we're doing makes sense to us now that we're, well, some of us, are inebriated, and still make sense to us tomorrow, when we're not, they're probably pretty good ideas." She got some chocolates from the synthesiser and sat down, munching away.

Cayne nodded. "It's fine... we're all a little drunk. To be honest, I hate negotiations anyway. I think this might be the only damn way I can deal with it. I also hate meeting rooms," he admitted. "So expect not to be in any unless we have no choice..." He looked up again from his tablet and grinned. "Like now!"

"Let's go down to the planet, talk to them about what we can give them, and assure them we'll do anything in our power to help them meet the goals, they as a civilisation, desire to achieve," Namira said. "That'll cut negotiations short, and we can get to our actual business."

Cayne stared at her. "You do realize that these are the same people that splattered the last Captain of this station all over the Command Center? If it were so easy don't you think the first crew would have been successful?"

"If you're worried they won't accept our sincerity, then that's no basis for negotiations," Namira said. "You have to go in on good faith. Any agreement we might come to is only worth the amount of faith we have in each other."

"Well, that would be all well and good if we were dealing with people who hadn't murdered all... I mean, almost all... of the previous crew over what appears to be mostly a coffee pot. So no, I don't have a lot of faith. I'd like to know how to do that..."

"Hm, simple. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it works, and we'll be good. Maybe it doesn't, and we'll have to try something else," Namira said. "I'm willing to go meet with them and see where we all stand, on a personal level rather than politics. They're miners, I speak their language. And by and large, they're hard-working and honest people, but they're working a tough job and have always had too little recognition for it, while watching people who play away their lives receiving fame and fortune. So when they boil over, they do so hard."

"Well, we don't have much of a choice. We're going to have to meet with them. You did read their demands... didn't you?" Cayne asked of Namira. "When you talk about how honest and hardworking they are... you might want to read those again. What I don't want is to go down there unprepared for them to try and kill us too. Regardless, of what we have to say to them." He help up the tablet in his hand. "I'm going to say this slowly. They killed our predecessors over booze and hookers... BOOZE AND HOOKERS!"

"Aye, best currency in the known universe" commented Murray. "Sex an' alcohol, the best vices" he added. "Did they really kill over that tough?" inquired the young security officer.

Namira sighed. "I don't believe that. There has to have been another reason. People don't kill over booze unless they're already addicted, and anyone running a mining operation, all the way down to the level of foreman, will pay the utmost attention that the miners go down with a clear head, and most ordinary miners support this because they know their lives depend on it. Yes, their demands read like they've been put together by a high school drop-out working at a fast food joint, but I'm willing to bet that's just someone with a weird sense of humour."

The Executive Officer inserted herself into the conversation. "I agree with you. Some of these demands are asinine and greatly far-fetched; However, examining Earth's political history there have been some rather ludacris demands and orders made by world leaders" noted Lieutenant Carmina Barbossa. "We need to look through these demands with a fine comb. It is going to be a lot of give and take" she added.

Namira looked at the list. "Now, I don't know what a Jean is, I'm assuming it's a cultural holiday? No big deal. A five-day week shouldn't be a problem either. Why make them work six days? Weekends off is a good idea. Let them enjoy their lives with their families. Sick days, make sure it's a neutral doctor actually confirming they're sick, so why not?" She skipped the safety equipment since the union didn't appear to have an issue with it, as well as the pay raise because that was an entirely different can of worms. "Now, I don't see why there'd be a problem with gambling on the station? Granted, there's the same addictive potential as with other drugs, but for most people it's simply a means to enjoy themselves a little. The same is true for recreational drugs. Make sure it's available to everyone and you undercut any black market operations that are going on, cut down on crime and you can even tax the revenue. It's a win-win for everyone. As for the puppies, the pillows and what not, those cannot possibly be serious demands and we needn't even talk about them."

"Lieutenant Namira... please look at me," Cayne requested, as politely as he could. He waited until her gaze was on his face and they were making eye contact. "We work for the Union. You understand this, right? The Union has already approved some of those... if you keep scrolling down... What I'm worried about is the demands the Union won't meet. I'm not sure they're going to take the small pay hike. We already host gambling operations on the station and I'm not about to give the miners recreational drugs. They can do those things on their own planet... I cannot run the risk of going against what the Union has already sanctioned. Are we clear?" He paused again, nodding at her, his face serious, his 'are you listening to me' look, plain on his face. "Now, I do agree that we can offer them a clinic... I really don't see how the Union could complain about that."

Mavet had heard enough. "All right, so we've rehearsed the list of grievances and the fundamentals of the art of the deal. All this shit is academic until we actually get their spokesman in here to deliver what they're really after." The Gelatin turned his facade toward them all. "All these crazy demands are just afterthoughts or red herrings. Let's see what they find near and dear when put to the question."

"Agreed. And then we can find something they're happy with, and tell the union that's what it took to make peace and they can suck it," Namira said. "The point that gets me is the free weekends and the union saying no. That's just not right."

"Who cares what we tell them?" Mavet asked. Twin lumps rose up in a shrug. "It's not like the Union will ever confirm the captain's report. So long as the mining projections are met, we could erect a shrine to Avis down there."

Cayne laughed. "I would believe that... and totally agree with you. If it wasn't for me." He paused and looked at the officers around him. "I don't know if you know who I am... or what I've done, but they're not going to leave me out here without checking on me. Or at least that's what I believe. They deemed me "dangerous". Too dangerous to be free or in command, yet... apparently desperation wins."

"We've all done things in our past we're not necessarily proud of," Namira said, figuring he could use a bit of pep-talk. "Command must see something in you or you wouldn't be here. Then again, someone in Union Central thought giving me a uniform and a field commission was a good idea, which is very unusual for an archaeologist. It's not like my job has any bearing on current events. Not any more, at any rate." Since she had made the switch to archaeology, her life had got a lot quieter, which was usually a good thing.

"Checks and balances" interjected Lieutenant Barbossa. "I may not have been your intended Executive Officer, but they did send me out here initially as Second Officer. Nevertheless, I'm your XO" she stated firmly. "You may give the orders, Captain, but you aren't alone in those decision making times and if push comes to shove and I see you making a terrible mistake, Union Central is on speed dial."

Cayne laughed again. "They saw someone expendable... that's what happened. Though, I honestly do agree with you, Mavet. There isn't much more we can do, until their representative is here and I also agree that as long as quotas are being met and production is up, I don't see a problem with a weekend off or even a few extra sick days... I also don't understand why they don't have a matter synthesizer down there." He shook his head. "But yes... we won't know what they really want until they're here." He dropped the tablet dramatically on the table and yawned and stretched. "Alright... So I would like everyone here to be at the negotiation meeting and somehow we'll sort this all out. No recreational drugs." He chuckled.

"I concur with the recreational drug ban," replied Lieutenant Barbossa. "That would just be asking for trouble in more ways than one. If not an increase in criminal activity aboard the station, then a certain increase in the frequency of mining related accidents while under the influence," she added.

Murray nodded. "Aye," he said sharply. "I don' have the number of guards nor deputies to deal with that kind of problems," he explained. "I have me hands full as it is with their 'business associates' comin' aboard," noted the security chief. "They have frequently been dealin' with Horbalaks. We let the miners come back to mine an' them Horbalaks will be dockin'."

Cayne looked up at Murray. "Horbalaks? Really?" He sighed. "So, that's just what we need... smugglers," he said sarcastically, while his face clearly showed his distaste. He put both of his hands down on the table. "I don't want to know... whatever it is. I don't want to know. It's their planet... if they want to do whatever it is they're doing... I'm not going to try and police that. I just want it watched if it comes up here. I don't want that shit going on, on this station."

"Captain, I must protest," Namira said. "I'm not meaning to be difficult," she continued, and in this case she felt she had to be difficult. "Labelling all Horbalaks as smugglers is just not true. They're no more a homogeneous culture of contraband dealers than all Xeleyans are elitist snobs, all humans are sports enthusiasts, all Moclans are misogynistic totalitarians or whatever other negative character trait a particular species is generally known for. Dealings with Horbalaks have some distinct advantages. Horbalaks still use a face-value based currency, so you can get something for your efforts, such as special finds that are rare and cannot be synthesised. Such demand only goes up if you haven't got a matter synthesiser, or haven't got the power to run it. We should do all we can to encourage legitimate trade, and increase the planet's standard of living to a degree that social unrest is no longer an issue. In the end, that'll make them happier than just meeting all of those demands we can actually take seriously."

"No one said that the planet was in any sort of social unrest..." Cayne said, totally ignoring the other part of the conversation. "I think though... that we should all get some sleep." He stood from behind the table. "At least I'm going to get some sleep. The rest of you..." He waved a hand at them, dismissively. "Do what you want. We'll meet again in the morning and find out if negotiations will be here or on the planet."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Mavet rolled his gooey mass straight for the door without any hesitation.

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